Walking Advertisement

I am fairly certain that there is a flashing neon sight above my head that says: "Visa here!" Or maybe it says, "All visa questions answered!" Or perhaps, to some young men, "Marry to go to U.S.!" I'm not positive because I, of course, cannot see this sign; when it was installed, it was made visible only to some Tajiks. At the end of a long day, the desperation this sign invites can become grating, and Americans complain to one another about the feeling that people are constantly accosting us.

Mostly, though, I am sympathetic. I wish that I could do more, but the truth is that I have no power with the consular office. And I don't know that much about U.S. visas having never had to get one. The most I can do is help people understand the U.S. websites that explain visa regulations.

A different question often posed to me is, "Can I join your TOEFL course?" It hasn't started yet, so I say "Yes, come, and we will discuss who will be in the class." At the moment I am terrified because there are so many people signed up, and I need to figure out a fair system of who can be in the class - and turning the rest away. I was telling to the American Corner coordinator that though I want to help the students, I just can't make everyone happy - and I will have to turn some away - if they can't come at that time we can't change the time, it is just be too bad for them - we'll have another class start in the spring - and she said, "You sound like a counselor officer." And that was how I realized that it is the same concern and the same question: "How can you help me get to the United States? This is very important to me, and you are the best hope I have come across."

For them, that is why I am here: to help them with their English so that they have a better chance of winning scholarships and spots in exchange programs and getting to visit or stay in the United States. Or so that they can get better jobs here, as interpreters or as local staff in international organizations like the U.N. or foreign embassies. The stakes are higher than in a standard high school Spanish class in the United States, when no one really cares about learning the language - not the way that people here want to learn English.

And I can help them. Some days that is suffocating and other days it is empowering. Mostly I remain somewhere in between, with a sense of responsibility to do my best by my students. Usually I feel this responsibility more heavily than my sense of responsibility to the U.S. Embassy or the U.S. State Department or the U.S. taxpayers who are paying for my grant stipend. I am lucky that the two loyalties do not conflict in my job description, but I can see more and more clearly how my presence is viewed differently by different people. That flashing neon sign above my head is dimmer to some, and has different words for different people. I can try with writing and speaking, but I don't think I can fully control what the sign says to you.