Summertime and the livin is easy

The summer solstice may not be until June, but as far as I'm concerned, summer has come. The first fruit has come, syrupy sweet: strawberries first, which became bars and two strawberry rhubarb pies in one week, followed by cherries and almost, now, apricots.

The trees along the street produce a sickeningly sweet pollen. Among those trees are too many swallows to count. Along the roadsides I spy gorgeous Rollers in all their blue and rufous glory. There are dragonflies and butterflies winging along the river.

Poppies began spreading along the roads and into the fields in April.

Outside the library.

On May 1st, roses have erupted everywhere, and they have been multiplying in a fury ever since. "Rose" in Tajik is " садбарг (sad barg)," which literally means "100 petals." A row of men sell flowers under a САДБАРГ sign every day of the year, while a restaurant behind them takes the same name, and is one of the nicest places to sit outside with an ice cream under their willow trees. 

From our kitchen window.

Ice cream is part of my daily diet. 

In America we mark the beginning of summer with Memorial Day. Here, we began May with two holidays from the Soviet era: 1 May (Labor Day) and 9 May (Victory Day). Regardless of the holidays' purpose, our celebrations were pure summer.

May 9 involved a long hike in a village. Students kept asking me why I was looking at the sky (wishing I had binoculars to look at the hawks).  I stopped and took photos of flowers, and this grasshopper, but didn't get a photo of my first Tajik toad.

I spent both days the following weekend having picnics. Sarah and I taught schoolchildren to pay modified American Football in the Botanical Garden on Saturday, and then on Sunday a group of students from the American Corner kept trying to teach me how to throw a football correctly during our daylong excursion by the river away from the city (I tried to tell them that I have been a failure at this my whole life in America, but that did not deter them from trying). 

Explaining the rules of our game

Botanical Garden Picnic.

I wear sandals every day. Sometimes I wear sunglasses. When on a picnic or kayaking, I wear a hat.

It may not be high summer - there is not yet mellon, and I can't say that "the cotton is high" - but all of these things unequivocally mean summer to me. 

Walking to the river near Палос (Palos). 

Playing Hearts by the river as the wind picked up.

Getting married is like moving to a foreign country

"Getting married is like moving to a foreign country," said a Tajik friend of mine, as three of us were having a conversation about marriages and mothers-in-law. "At first you must learn the different laws of the new place." My mind raced ahead to add more facets to the comparison: you must not only figure out the unspoken laws and customs, but where power lies and what people believe; what their prejudices are and what is most important to them. You must live a new reality of the details of day-to-day life, and not waste time missing those you used to live with. The first weeks of a new bride here are like my few months have been: full of a sense that you are missing some things, unsure when you will be embarrassed by revealing this lack, not understanding why the assumptions you had at home are not working, always listening and always learning.

In one moment I thought "Yes!" and then in the next I stopped - this simile does not include me.

I am not marrying Tajikistan. I am, if you will, dating: falling in love a bit, enjoying my time now in the present, playing and laughing, but not promising to be together in sickness and in health until death do us part. It is the beginning, still, of a relationship: I am eager to make a good impression, and so I listen more than I talk and sometimes hold my tongue when I do not want to risk alienating someone.  

Of course, while dating, every so often your mind drifts and you find yourself imagining what life would be like if you did stay together for many years. What would be the things that I could not compromise on? What would be the tension points in our relationship? My friend posed this question to me when I mentioned the idea that perhaps there would be things I would do differently if I were to stay forever instead of only ten months. I have continued to mull over the question.

Mostly I stay in the present, though. There is a special frenetic energy to a relationship when there is a clear end date. That is the frenzy of summer romances. Here, my time will end as summer starts, and my encroaching leaving date makes me frantic to squeeze everything I can out of every last moment we have together before it's too late. 

Advice on Visiting Tajikistan

I started to write a long email to my friend on what he should expect when he arrives next Monday, and then decided to share it here for anyone Googling "Travel Tajikistan." Of course there is infinitely more to say, and there are websites with much more, but this is the very short what you need to know upon arrival in Tajikistan:

You are now able to get a 2-week tourist visa on arrival at the airport in Dushanbe, but I had a friend who was lucky enough to arrive in a week when there were "technical malfunctions" and so he had to stay in Istanbul for three days to get a visa there and wait for the next flight. (On the bright side, when you get a visa in Istanbul, you get a sweet tourist map and postcards of Tajikistan). [more visa details written by my friend at the bottom of the page] You don't have to register if you are staying less than 30 days (be grateful - this is an un-fun post-Soviet habit). On the other hand, the U.S. government would advise U.S. citizens to register online with their Smart Traveller Enrollment Program.

Most people from the west fly Turkish Air through Istanbul. The flight goes twice a week, Sunday and Wednesday nights, and arrives in Dushanbe at 3:45 am the next morning. Don't worry - things will be open by the time you get out of the airport at 5 or 6 a.m. 

Mosque in Istaravshan.

Why does it take so long? It is a small airport. Because the mass of people shoving towards passport control is chaotic and suffocating and there are no lines. As a foreigner, you need to grab two forms on the right when you come in. One of these is a long rectangle with the same information on the right and the left. There is a colorful advertisement for one of the phone companies on the back. At passport control they will rip the paper and keep one half and give you the other. You must not lose this paper - they will ask for it when you leave the country. I staple it in my passport. The other piece of paper you need to remember is the baggage-check slip that they gave you when you checked your bag wherever you originated - after you have perhaps waited a long time for the luggage to appear, on your way out of the airport they will collect your luggage tag. 

You will emerge into a swarm of people waiting in the morning sun. If you are lucky a friend will meet you - if not there are plenty of taxi drivers ready to relieve you of your bag. 

You probably want money - I find it is easiest to withdraw from the Bankomat (ATM). You can withdraw somoni everywhere and USD in some places (I use USD only to pay my rent).  There are also many money exchange places on the street. Credit cards are useless.

Finding things like bankomats is easiest if you take some time to learn the Cyrillic alphabet - or at least a few minutes to look it over (Learn in 5 minutes for Russian or this chart for Tajik/Latin/Persian comparison).

If you need to bring a gift for an American, coffee is appreciated (this is another way of saying: prepare to drink Nescafe for the duration of your stay). 

Хуш омадед!

Tajikistan culture visible: курта (kurta - national dress; mine is made from атлас (atlas - national fabric), дастархон (dartarkhan - table cloth/spread), кӯрпача ( kurpаcha - mattresses/beds), general guest-ing

For more:

This guy seems to have very helpful and up-to-date information: http://caravanistan.com/travel/tajikistan/

I know someone working on this website, which is trying to become a more helpful guide to Dushanbe (if you're coming for longer, read this post on everyday Tajik customs: http://menu.tj/en/posts/culture-un-shock/)

More visa info from said friend who just got his visa in Istanbul: 

1-All the Tajikistan government web stuff says that if you are coming in from a nation that has a Embassy or Consular office you need your visa prior to entry. The guy I talked to in Istanbul at the consulate said the same. 

2-You can get 30, 60, or 90 day tourist visas. The 30 day is 50 USD (only USD accepted). Perhaps the 2 week visa is still availabe at the airport. 

3-If you are trying to do this in Istanbul it is hard to find the consulate. The train station/neighborhood it is in is called Florya. But there is no train station working right now  - it looks like it is under renovation. I can put togeather a google map+street view if you want. 

4-Bring your passport and a couple photo copies and a few passport-sized photos of yourself. It also helps to print out and fill out two copys of the visa application available online after some searching.

Debate (Part 2) and a Postcard from Kyrgyzstan

I said before that I cared more about my students in Khujand than the tournament that was to come in Dushanbe. That was before we went to Dushanbe for the First National English Debate Tournament (March 29-31). I still am proud of what we did in Khujand, but being with students from all over the country brought it to a new level. Granted, there were many differing levels of debate experience and ability, but the excitement of a tournament - with four preliminary rounds in which everyone would compete - was motivation to make all of them improve immensely.

I was staying with the main organizer, and was part of the late-night planning and anxiety about making everything run smoothly. I was one of the judges; I (hilariously) gave the orienting/rules presentation to the debaters while the judges were meeting; I ended up giving out the certificates at the end. The whole thing took place at the gorgeous Ismaili Centre, which made everything more graceful. I enjoyed the planning and the executing and the walking around with my students in the city and the talking in the car through the snow on the seven hours back home. 

There are plenty more photos where those came from; and the video that Areebah and I finally had time to make - a version of the presentation we did in Nepal for future English teachers.

Of course, pretty much as soon as we put it together, we realized how little we knew about international debating and learned a whole lot. We made it to the Asia Youth Forum, after a flurry of calls to parents about permissions and passports all during and before and after the tournament in Dushanbe.

I will let IDEA describe it:

The Asia Youth Forum, one of many regional versions of the IDEA Global Youth Forum, is a two-week experience that combines the Karl Popper Debate Championship, educational tracks (including our Mixed Teams Track which brings students from different countries and different levels of experience together in a peer-to-peer learning experience) and tournaments that allow the speakers to put their newly-acquired skills into practice. Find out more at ayf.idebate.org

This year, AYF was at Lake Issykkul in Kyrgyzstan - but we were more in Debate-istan than Kyrgyzstan. They ran a full schedule for the kids, who learned a lot. They had to really work and prepare for their cases - I'm not sure I would have the intellectual stamina to prepare again and again on the same topic in another language. I joined them the second week, for various reasons, and so entered this culture with full awareness of my ignorance and a bit of trepidation. I was glad to see my students, and intrigued by the trainers and coaches. The Tajik students did really well; one of my students from Khujand made it to the Semi-Finals in the Mixed Team Tournament, while the winning team included one student from Khorog and one from Dushanbe.

This was where we were staying. Yes, you should visit Issykkul.

There are too many photos to count: the Russian IDEA Facebook page, all of my students' Facebook posts, the Asia Youth Forum website. They also interviewed people on what digital freedom means to them and in their countries, and my video is one of the ones that has been posted.  More importantly, the talent show hit "Debate Me, Maybe" has reached YouTube - again courtesy of Areebah's editing.

The view from our room.

Because there are few flights in Central Asia, we had to spend two nights in Bishkek before flying back to Tajikistan. It was fun to compare the city to Dushanbe. The same streets! The same buildings! The same monuments! Only it's Manas instead of Somoni. And their flagpole is pitiful. But Bishkek in general is so much bigger, there's so much more Russian, and so many more restaurants. We went to Sierra Cafe and couldn't stop gushing about how much it felt like America (it's more than the coffee - it's the atmosphere with the bookshelves and the baristas and - I'll stop). We had Texas-style BBQ for dinner.  Our guide to all of this was a Bishkek ETA, and we saw a bit of Bishkek with him: his university, the new mall, TSUM for gifts, attempts to visit closed-on-Monday museums.

We returned home on April 23 to TV cameras at the airport - and then a long drive to Khujand, with one student asleep on each shoulder in the middle seat of the taxi. According to their presentation yesterday at the American Corner, they not only made friends that they left with tears, but also learned about the roles in Karl Popper, what clash points are in a debate, more ideas about Digital Freedom than they ever thought to have, the importance of team-building and sportsmanship, and how to communicate with people from other countries when it is difficult. That's a success to me.

Formality and Faux Pas; or Manners and Mistakes

Sughd, this northern region of Tajikistan, is known for being more formal. Everyone here always uses шумо (shumo), the formal "you" (think usted in Spanish), whereas in the south, in Khatlon, people use ту (tu) frequently. I knew this before coming, like I knew that Tajikistan is renowned for its guest culture, but I didn't realize the many other ways in which that politeness would manifest itself in daily life, and I certainly didn't anticipate that it would take me months to figure out.

When someone invites you to his or her house, they repeat "хуш омадед" (khush omaded - welcome) many times. I used to put my hand on my chest and repeat "thank you," unable to think of anything else to say. Only six months into my time here did someone tell me that the customary thing to respond - especially to older hosts - is "хушбахт бошед" (khushbakht boshed - be happy). It was both relieving to hear that there is a ritual and frustrating - how did I not know this sooner!

Similarly, I was aware from the moment I arrived that hosts tell you to eat many times. "Гиритон, гиритон, гиритон" they repeat ("take," literally, or "help yourself"). Knowing how important the guest culture is here, I would studiously take food, and figured out to pace my eating and time big bites for when the host returned. What is on the dastarkhan at the beginning is just that, the beginning, and there is always more food coming. I joke that people do not know the meaning of the word "full" - when I say that "ман сеур шудам" (I am full), people bring me more food! People laugh appreciatively, because of course that is the job of the host - to give you more.

But only after living here seven months did I realize the other half of this Tajik courtesy. They say "гиретон" three times - and the guest is not supposed to accept the first few times. There is a dance of offering and demurring until people finally eat. Oops. Luckily, I have probably not offended anyone too badly - I just seem like an impolite pig. Since realizing this, I have heard countless stories from people in Sughd who have traveled to the United States and suffered their own cultural misunderstandings. "Do you want ice cream?" an American hostess asked a teacher friend. "No," the teacher replied, and then, as she told us, "the whole table ate ice cream and I sat there with none! I really wanted some, but I couldn't ask!" Another friend who said it took him a week of being hungry to realize that Americans were not going to ask again, and he would have to say yes the first time.

And I only realized a week ago that one does not talk while eating. Parents here teach their children not to do so. In the United States, parents also tell their children not to talk with their mouths full, but we also expect dinner to be a time for conversation, and people schedule lunch meetings in order to talk. I tried to think back to the many times I have been a guest: have I spent it chattering to fill silence? I think mostly I am quiet and try to let the host take the lead - remembering not to be uncomfortable in the silence (thank you, Sidwell).

Unfortunately I cannot regale you with tales of the hilarious faux pas I have made that people laughed at or judged or ignored and otherwise never pointed out to me. You will have to apply to my friends and acquaintances here for more details.

A table filled for Navruz at the library.